Recipe: Open Casket Gut Rot

A new goal/project for me is learning to cook. I currently have an extremely limited repertoire, so cookbooks/websites have been a necessity. I have been enamored with Annick "Morbid Chef" Giroux's "Hellbent For Cooking" book, so I have set the challenge to myself to attempt to make every possible recipe in the book, with vegetarian substitution/alteration as needed.

I highly recommend the book, as it contains recipes from Heavy Metal bands the world-over, with information about the bands themselves as well as the recipes they have submitted. The recipes cover a broad range of styles and difficulties and are for appetizers, entrees, desserts, and mixed drinks. It is available through Bazillion Points, a Greenpoint, Brooklyn-based printing company:

http://www.bazillionpoints.com/

The first recipe in the book is for 'Mummified Bacon Bombs' courtesy of Chris Reifert, drummer and vocalist of one of my favorite bands of all-time, Autopsy. They are essentially jalapeno poppers wrapped in bacon. As I wanted to make this vegetarian, I substituted the bacon with McCormick's Bacon Bits (they're vegan!). As I had no substance to wrap the bombs, they ended up a bit messy and open-faced. Thus, I UN-christen this treat the Open Casket Gut Rot!

See the book for actual recipe, but my version follows (no amounts listed as they will vary by amount of poppers made, I ate at least 12 in one sitting):

1. Split jalapenos, remove seeds, place on cooking sheet.
     Heavy Hint: wear gloves whilst doing this step. I decided not to, thinking, "Oh, jalapenos aren'
     THAT hot, I'll be fine!" About halfway through the process, my hands started burning and didn't
     stop for about 12 hours. Let me just say that no matter how carefully I washed my hands, urinating
     afterwords was quite uncomfortable as I passed some of the jalapeno irritant onto my 'morbid
     member.'

2. Fill jalapeno halves with equal portions Monterrey Jack cheese shavings and cream cheese (I used jalapeno cream cheese for maximum effect!)

3.Top with bacon bits. A little extra cheese on top to hold it together helps.

4. Place in 400 degree F pre-heated oven for 10-20 minutes until cheese is melted and G.B.D. (which will henceforth be GBH for golden-brown and Heavy, the 'delicious' will be assumed)

 *Photo copyright Sam Shockey 2014.

Amusing Anecdote: taking this photo revealed that I had inadvertently changed the file settings on the computer so this photo was actually titled 'mariagecertificate' and a number. Whoops! I'm pretty computer illiterate so this doesn't surprise me. Now to find that there publish button to post this bad boy on the interwebs...

And now, for some Autopsy- Service For A Vacant Casket!